Friday, July 29, 2011

The Nick Offerman

Nick Offerman may not have always had a facial adornment, but when he began his run as Ron Swanson from NBC's Parks and Recreation, the man grew face-ticles. No one could make me want to turn more toward anarchy than this maurader of the mous-pocolypse.

The only protection he needs in jail is that murderous glean in his eyes and his shiv-stache.
As the man himself says in Parks and Rec: “I have been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years."  More after the jump...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Paul Teutul, Sr.

I think even the Lord himself wouldn't mind me using his son's name in vain when I say, "Jesus Christ!  Look at that mustache!"
"Come over here and stand in front of me so I can hit you in the back of the head."
Paul Sr. grew up in a small mining camp in Yonkers, New York.  Upon the realization that there was nothing to mine in Yonkers, New York, he started to build motorcycles.  More after the jump...

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Will Ferrell

"You're just jealous, Professor Dickweed."

We have all seen Will Ferrell be one crazy sonofabitch in one movie or another, but anything this man dons his Ferrell Face Furniture for is bound to have some deep connection to the human soul.  

"Wow. Never ceases to amaze me. What cologne you gonna go with? London Gentleman, or wait. No, no, no. Hold on. Blackbeard's Delight."
Read more after the jump...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The Craig Ferguson

It's very hard to find pictures of Craig Ferguson and his mustache because he really only had it for one whole week.

Rudy, the Forbidden Mustache
Due to the lack of photographs, this particular article will be rather short.  Fortunately, all that needs to be said about Craig and his short lived mustache is in the video below after the jump...

The Patrick Stewart

As a man who led the next generation of Trekkies, Trekkers, and the people who beat them up, Patrick Stewart would be thought by many to only be a beneficiary to mustachedom.

"Make it so, number two..."
However, at a recent luncheon for Mustache Anonymous, I realized the man had a dreadful case of Mustachiomencia!   Read more about it after the jump...

The Robert Goulet

Old Bobby G and me, we go way back you see.  I'll explain that momentarily.  But in the meantime...

"And the mustaches glare!"
 ...let's revisit the legend of Robert Goulet's mustache.  Now remember, or learn here for the first time, Goulet didn't not always sport a 'stache.  See him 'stacheless and read more after the jump...

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Cesar Romero

Today we celebrate the mustache of Don Diego de la Vega's uncle from the original Zorro.

Don Diego de la Vega's Uncle.  His name is my name, too.
No, of course not.  Today we celebrate Cesar "The Joker" Romero, right after the jump...

The Dustin Hoffman

Well this one just seemed inevitable.

"Prepare to die, Peter Pan"
We're gonna get a little serious on this one, because it's very near to my heart.  Oh yes, it's Hook time, and Hooktime is placed mysteriously close to my recent apostrophe, I mean epiphany* that Hook not only bombed at the box office but apparently it's, like THE WORST F@#$%!G MOVIE EVER MADE.  Join me in this discovery right after the jump...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

The Val Kilmer

"You're no daisy.  You're no daisy at all!"

Today we celebrate a little American history with the semi-true tale of Tombstone and Val Kilmer's victorious yet tragic Doc Holliday mustache, right after the jump...

The Bruce Campbell

Yes, it's true.  Even Bruce Campbell has had a mustache.

"Should I consummate the non-marriage of me and Xena?  Or should I just take it?"
Not everyone remembers the fact that Bruce Campbell was in Xena.  Remember with me and read more after the jump...

The Wilford Brimley

Why is "the Brimley" not a common phrase?
Born Allen Quaker-Oats Wilford Liberty -Medical Brimley in Salt Lake City, Utah, Wilford Brimley has done so much with his life it's ridiculous.  And all despite his disadvantage: birthed from a walrus that mated with a talking mustache.  Find out more after the jump...